Keeping your confidence

For foster parents it can be easy to get discouraged. Children can be difficult, and this is compounded because the children you are caring for are not your own, and come from a difficult background. As you start fostering a new child there are a lot of adjustments that need to occur on both ends. The child needs to get used to a new home with new rules, and you as the parents need to get used to living with this child and dealing with his/her personality quirks and differences. 

At times you will feel discouraged and wonder about your abilities, but the important thing to remember is that you ARE doing good for the child, even if he or she doesn't realize it. Providing a stable home is better than leaving him in an orphanage. Remember that you ARE a good parent, even if there are disagreements between you and your foster child sometimes. Remember that it doesn't matter if she appreciates you for it or not, later in life she will realize what you did and be grateful for how you helped. It can be hard to want to stay in the program when you run into problems. But try to stay focused and remember that you did this to help a child. And you are helping him, regardless of if he recognizes it right now or not. It can be difficult to build a good solid relationship, and that's okay. Don't expect yourself to be perfect. Just try the best you can to reach out and befriend your foster child and be her friend. Be a role model and supportive adviser. Think of yourself as the fun aunt or uncle--there to support the child, but not trying to fill the "mom" or "dad" role. Remember that your foster child comes from a hard place and just needs someone to care for and support them. 

It's okay to feel discouraged and down on yourself as you are on this endeavor. Just try to remember that it is worth it. Everything will be okay. You can ask for help if you need it, and that's okay. You can do this. You are doing a great service, and we truly appreciate your sacrifice. Thank you. Keep a smile on your face. Everything will be okay :) You're doing a great job.