Parenting Styles

By: Courtney

One aspect of foster parenting that can prove problematic centered on parenting styles.  Many may find themselves asking how you effectively parent the children that come into your home, especially children that are older in age and may have been in the system longer.  There are four typical styles of parenting: Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive, and Neglectful.    Some may be familiar with these already.  However, just in case, authoritarian style is known as the strict parents with little warmth in return; permissive parenting is often thought of as the indulgent parent.  There are many limits, and there is great warmth.  Neglectful is pretty self-explanatory and authoritative style is known as providing a good level of warmth and providing limits.  Problem solved! Foster parents, all you have to do is choose… Not so simple, right?

Foster parents are in a position where children can come and go and boundaries can be unclear, in turn, how to parent a child can often be a tricky issue.  Research has shown that, particularly with adolescence, those in foster care can come from various backgrounds; some may have been exposed to neglect or abuse.  Often times, these youth don’t trust adults, and they’ve built up their own ways to adapt and protect themselves from harm or pain, emotionally and physically.  Sometimes a parent who shows warmth is looked as an enemy by a child in foster care.   In a study done in 2008, researchers found that at times a permissive parenting style “tends to be associated with the most beneficial outcomes for girls” leading to less internalizing and externalizing behaviors. For boys, however, “authoritative foster parents manifest fewer youth-reported internalizing and externalizing symptoms” (Gopalan, 2009).  For foster parents, it is important to look at all aspects of a child’s development and their background.  Try to understand where the child is coming from, and then work to find the best solution for how to handle parenting.  Overall,  “foster parents need to have sensitivity to think through children’s behaviors and caregivers’ own responses…and be prepared to promote cooperation and negotiation, rather than control or interference”(Gopalan, 2009).   Talk with other foster parents (or try the link below). Share experiences to see from different angles the parenting approches others used and if they may work for you, and keep in mind that, as with any child, what works for one may not work as well for another. 

 
Podcast: One Foster Couple's Approach to Parenting

Reference:

Gopalan, G. (2009). Foster parenting and adolescent mental health. ProQuest Dissertations and Theses, 1-374. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/304863107?accountid=14677. (304863107).