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The question I have comes from personal experience.
Preface: I was a foster child for the last part of my teen years. I didn't feel like I was the foster kid, and truth, my foster family has continued to treat me like I am one of their own...as if I was from the start! I am guessing it is really unlikely that a lot of foster children experience that. The difficult part is integrating my biological family back into my life. It has been about 23 years since I became a "foster kid" and about 18 years since my bio family has been completely back in my life, although I never again lived with them.
I find it really hard to juggle the feelings between my love for my foster family and my love for my real family; especially trying to not hurt anyone's feelings. It feels harder than divorce - which I also experienced as a kid. [Maybe I am dealing with divorce-type effects but on an adult level....hmmmm.]
I think the hardest part for both my families was when I chose my foster Dad over my bio Father to give me away at my wedding, my biological Father really had not done anything significantly wrong/abusive etc., other than giving me up and not raising me I suppose.
My question is all encompassing what I have shared above - is there some kind of class or support group to help people manage these relationships that, to me, assimilate a boat ride straight through the Bermuda Triangle some days? [seems I am always on some one's unmentionable list because I haven't figured out the perfect balance between them.]
What are some suggestions for bonding ideas for the family's real children and the foster children? How do you keep a divide between the two from occurring?
What are some of the barriers that keep parents from becoming foster parents?
ReplyDeleteHow many foster parents are there? Is there a need for more?
ReplyDeleteThe question I have comes from personal experience.
ReplyDeletePreface: I was a foster child for the last part of my teen years. I didn't feel like I was the foster kid, and truth, my foster family has continued to treat me like I am one of their own...as if I was from the start! I am guessing it is really unlikely that a lot of foster children experience that. The difficult part is integrating my biological family back into my life. It has been about 23 years since I became a "foster kid" and about 18 years since my bio family has been completely back in my life, although I never again lived with them.
I find it really hard to juggle the feelings between my love for my foster family and my love for my real family; especially trying to not hurt anyone's feelings. It feels harder than divorce - which I also experienced as a kid. [Maybe I am dealing with divorce-type effects but on an adult level....hmmmm.]
I think the hardest part for both my families was when I chose my foster Dad over my bio Father to give me away at my wedding, my biological Father really had not done anything significantly wrong/abusive etc., other than giving me up and not raising me I suppose.
My question is all encompassing what I have shared above - is there some kind of class or support group to help people manage these relationships that, to me, assimilate a boat ride straight through the Bermuda Triangle some days? [seems I am always on some one's unmentionable list because I haven't figured out the perfect balance between them.]
What are some suggestions for bonding ideas for the family's real children and the foster children? How do you keep a divide between the two from occurring?
ReplyDeleteIs there more to being allowed to become a foster parent than having the desire and maybe a clean record (as far as child related crimes go)?
ReplyDelete